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A Domestic Violence Primer - What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is the use of physical force, sexual abuse/rape, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial or other types of manipulation for the purposes of controlling and gaining power over the other partner in a relationship through intimidation and fear.
It knows no barriers of age, gender, income level, or race -- and frequently challenges our preconceived notions about what it means to be a victim of domestic violence.
Domestic violence almost always appears in a cyclical pattern: first with tension and stress building, then an explosion or outburst, followed by the "honeymoon phase" which is accompanied by apologies, gift-giving, and saying 'it will never happen again.'
Children are frequently not the intended target of this type of abuse, but are nonetheless emotionally and physically harmed. They do hear. They do see. One would think that physical harm to a child would be from being beaten or hit, but new research tells us that all that has to happen is for them to witness repeated acts of violence. As a result of the stress from what they see and hear, their brain development is severely inhibited, making them less able to learn and do well in school and in life.
Many intimate partners feel trapped and powerless to change the cycle of violence. They may also hesitate to seek help for fear of reprisal by their partner, fear of losing their children, or fear of losing their home and possessions. Guilt, fear of what people will think, and low self-esteem also create invisible barriers to leaving an abusive relationship.
Napa Emergency Women's Services (NEWS) is here to help. You can talk to one of our trained domestic violence counselors 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in Spanish or English. They will listen to your fears and can help you make a safety plan or get more counseling -- we understand you may not be ready to leave, but you need to share your feelings...
When the day comes and you are ready to leave, we are here with confidential shelter for you and your children, and can provide legal advocacy, food, clothing, and other assistance, all free of charge.
Even if you just want to ask some questions, give us a call. You do not deserve to be hurt or live in fear. We can help. (707) 255-NEWS (6397)
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